Screw Iginla, Bruins Pick Up Jagr

Jagr is a beast. He is a sniper. He is a man with a singular goal. That goal is playing hockey in its purest form. Simply put, Jaromir Jagr is the hockey equivalent of a mercenary.

Yeah, mercenary is the word. He has bounced between teams, selling himself to the highest bidder with no regard to league or loyalty. He left the NHL for the KHL and came back again. He spit in the face of his old Pittsburgh Penguins and joined the rival Philadelphia Flyers. The mulleted mercenary had a stint in New York, then bolted for the Dallas Stars when they gave him a one-year, $4.5 million deal. However, at this moment, he will wear Bostons Black and Yellow.

Some people are still crying about the Iginla trade. Those people need to go shut their head in a door. The Bruins don't need a franchise player that spent his best years at another team. The Bruins need a man that is there for a singular job. A Mercenary. Jagr is a pro. He cares only about hockey and obviously knows how to adjust to new surroundings. He simply gives no fucks about team politics, he is an in and out guy with points and another cup on the brain. One of the best. No, he is not as gritty as other players. But the real question here is "do the Bruins necessarily need another power forward or more toughness?" If Milan THE GOOCH Lucic quits playing his worst and weakest hockey, they will have power and grit locked up.

What they need is someone to address their terrible, and I do mean terrible, power play. It ranks 24th in the NHL, converting at only 15.2 percent.That is garbage, but that is where Jagr can be the most effective. In this short season, Jagr has 6 power play goals and 26 points. He has as many goals in total as Bruins’ goal-scoring leader, the NOSE FACE KILLER Brad Marchand. That’s three more power-play goals than any current Bruin. Jagr and Krejci on a line will absolutely crush. Great day to be a Bruins fan.

This man's highlight reel speaks for itself, and if he wants to stop in at TD Gardens on his way to the hall of fame, we will be glad to have him.

P.S. #2 in this video is seriously one of the best examples of a pure goal scorer you will see on the ice.

P.P.S. If you find a pro sports mullet better than Jagr-meisters, I challenge you to post one.